Hey Inchoates, I sent Helen the "Hellion" and a couple other loyal minions over to the oRcs' homeworld of Hirntodia so that she could check out and report back to you what an oRctoberfest celebration was all about.  Maybe someday you'll get to go to Hirntodia.  Anyway, here's her report--

The orcs are just finishing celebrating oRctoberfest!

As has been done for innumerable ages, kegs of alcoholic blutrache were once again tapped at Orc Tower and all over Hirntodia in a celebration of battle victories of the past, present, and future. Traditionally made from the fermented blood of both friends and foes slaughtered in battle, but occasionally made from the reddish ooze of whatever they can find, the orcs drink blutrache to celebrate fallen comrades and gain the powers of their enemies. Blutrache is usually served by hemophiliac slaves; these superior bleeders add their delicious wine to the viscous fluid, creating an inimitable mix found only at oRctoberfest celebrations. [I am regrettably forced to admit that the stuff is strangely delicious.]

When they are not drinking and singing songs of battle and loot, the orcs enjoy drunken brawls and dances that imitate the beasts that they bring along into battle. One favorite dance is the starkhuhn, which mimics the taloned huhnzog, sometimes-faithful companion to the orcs. The huhnzog is a type of large, flightless raptor with unnecessarily large flesh-slicing talons on its muscular, delicious limbs. Some orcs ride the swift hunzogs into battle; others mainly consider them a good source of blood and gristle. Many hapless victims have awaken in the middle of the night to the shrieks of the huhnzogs and war cries of their masters.

Bringing oRctoberfest Home: The Starkhuhn Dance

To attempt the starkhuhn at home, first you must find suitable music. [Not much exists in the Earthly realm, but with each passing day I'm more and more convinced that A Band of Orcs music is perfect for pretty much any occasion.] The traditional dance/frenzy music of the orcs features the rhythmic blowing of the ubatorm, a bass wind instrument created from the enormous hollow horn of the grikrok. There is always a crodiak playing a rapid melody not unlike the sound of blood and adrenaline rushing through an orcish skull as he rides into battle. Occasionally, a slave or neighbor is beaten in time to the music, and skins from other realms are stretched across simple bone frames to add to the atmosphere. Lastly, axes are often beaten against large metal shields to fill out the percussion. The final product sounds like a cross between Myrkskog and Myron Floren.

To get started, since it's unlikely that you will find anything in your dimension that is quite like tradtional oRctoberfest dance music, just play Warchiefs of the Apocalypse, and you'll be ready to dance! This dance requires several warriors standing in a circle to begin. [Remember to stand out of weapon's reach of your neighbor, because once he gets going, you're going to want a few furlongs of safety buffer. Alternatively, pull your least useful friend into the circle next to you, and stay close enough to prevent him from getting up any momentum with his arms. Kind of like the rules for walking behind ornery horses.]

• Step 1: Stomp "Domination" in time with the music. Everyone's "Domination" rhythm is different; you'll find yours as the music takes over your blood. Remember: anyone can do this frenzy!
• Step 2: Leap up like you have successfully mounted a taloned huhnzog.
• Step 3: Now, in a counter-clockwise direction, charge forth: you are a monster, riding a hunzog! You are powerful! Hold your hands as though they're holding barbed-wire reins, and stomp-scuffle your feet as though they're burdened by big, pointy claws. It's traditional to unleash your battlecry (or lose your dinner) during this step.
• Step 4: When you've made your way around the circle, leap like you have dismounted and make violent hacking motions. It's best to imagine slaying hordes of screaming elves during this step. (Alternatively, pretend you've decided to slaughter and consume your faithful mount.)
• Step 5: Return to Step 1 and repeat until sunrise, or aneurism, whichever comes first!

Note: The center of the circle (or "Mush pit") of dancers/epileptics is reserved for those who collapse during the rigors of this dance. As they fall, the luckier unconscious orcs are kicked into the Mush Pit; their less lucky comrades are simply trampled where they fall. Though it seems brutal, this does dramatically help with the "Domnation" stomp.

Exalted Minion Metal Mike, enjoying a mug of Blutrache
in the vortex halls of oRc Tower between dimensions