Skull Counts -- News and Rumors for September 2007
"WarChiefs of the Apocalypse" on the press now!
Confirmed!
Well Strange Attractors, we're getting very close indeed to launching the invasion and fulfilling the prophecies of the Domination. All the materials have been sent to the manufacturer to press CDs for A Band of Orcs debut EP "WarChiefs of the Apocalypse," and we expect to have them turned to us by mid-October. We've had several delays around here, mostly due to the maliciously mischievious revenge magic of certain pixies and elves living in the oRc Tower dungeons.
All of you who pre-ordered a CD, or won one in a contest are going to receive a special gift from yours unruly and all of us at oRc Tower for waiting very patiently. Stay tuned to see what exactly that is!
I say that Halloween would make an outstanding release date for "WarChiefs of the Apocalypse." What say you?
Confirmed!
Gogog Bloodthroat has gone raiding with the Gore-Stained Axe Tribe in the oRc home-world, as a way of taking his mind off the pressures of being and inter-dimensional oRc Star. He plans on returning to oRc Tower in time to begin the oRctober Fest celebrations, which are a tradition around here that we will celebrate for the first time this year!
Strange News from the AIP (Associated Inter-Dimensional Press)
Rumors
Well, sitting atop an inter-dimensional Vortex in the Santa Cruz Mountains, we here at oRc Tower intercept some strange transmissions from the Associated Inter-Dimensional Press sometimes. I've placed these in the rumor category, because while they MIGHT be true in some alternate version of reality, yours unruly cannot confirm them for this dimension's consensus reality. Nonetheless, I find these tidbits amusing and reprint them here for your enjoyment.
From the Orcheim Enquierer
Hulg ElfR.I.P.er's ghost wants to perform on American Idol.
It's becoming increasingly difficult around Orc Tower to talk him/it out of this plan, seeing as ghosts are difficult to restrain. The Band has been considering buying Ghost-Vacuum equipment off eBay. They also considered hiring someone to perform an exorcism, but were concerned that they might all disappear, leaving an unguarded rift in the quantum continuum. And then Earth would be in danger of domination by Quilpies, who produce elevator music. Think about THAT.
From the Hirtmord Examiner
Beware: Unicorn Mating Season begins.
Last year over 12,000 members of other species were injured or killed during the uncontrolled leks of these horrid monsters. Accidental impalings of various kinds (unicorns mate without prejudice as to species) will escalate in the next few weeks. Don't be a victim!!
Confirmed!
Well Strange Attractors, we're getting very close indeed to launching the invasion and fulfilling the prophecies of the Domination. All the materials have been sent to the manufacturer to press CDs for A Band of Orcs debut EP "WarChiefs of the Apocalypse," and we expect to have them turned to us by mid-October. We've had several delays around here, mostly due to the maliciously mischievious revenge magic of certain pixies and elves living in the oRc Tower dungeons.
All of you who pre-ordered a CD, or won one in a contest are going to receive a special gift from yours unruly and all of us at oRc Tower for waiting very patiently. Stay tuned to see what exactly that is!
I say that Halloween would make an outstanding release date for "WarChiefs of the Apocalypse." What say you?
Confirmed!
Gogog Bloodthroat has gone raiding with the Gore-Stained Axe Tribe in the oRc home-world, as a way of taking his mind off the pressures of being and inter-dimensional oRc Star. He plans on returning to oRc Tower in time to begin the oRctober Fest celebrations, which are a tradition around here that we will celebrate for the first time this year!
Strange News from the AIP (Associated Inter-Dimensional Press)
Rumors
Well, sitting atop an inter-dimensional Vortex in the Santa Cruz Mountains, we here at oRc Tower intercept some strange transmissions from the Associated Inter-Dimensional Press sometimes. I've placed these in the rumor category, because while they MIGHT be true in some alternate version of reality, yours unruly cannot confirm them for this dimension's consensus reality. Nonetheless, I find these tidbits amusing and reprint them here for your enjoyment.
From the Orcheim Enquierer
Hulg ElfR.I.P.er's ghost wants to perform on American Idol.
It's becoming increasingly difficult around Orc Tower to talk him/it out of this plan, seeing as ghosts are difficult to restrain. The Band has been considering buying Ghost-Vacuum equipment off eBay. They also considered hiring someone to perform an exorcism, but were concerned that they might all disappear, leaving an unguarded rift in the quantum continuum. And then Earth would be in danger of domination by Quilpies, who produce elevator music. Think about THAT.
From the Hirtmord Examiner
Beware: Unicorn Mating Season begins.
Last year over 12,000 members of other species were injured or killed during the uncontrolled leks of these horrid monsters. Accidental impalings of various kinds (unicorns mate without prejudice as to species) will escalate in the next few weeks. Don't be a victim!!
From the Treefortean Times
Warhammer Accidentally Dropped in Peru.
News agencies have been discussing a "meteorite" which fell in Peru, creating a muddy puddle that has since made some people sick. The meteorite theory, and the satellite theory, and the conspiracy theory, are all dead wrong. Oog just dropped his warhammer while zipping between dimensions with the Grimp. Again. If he'd stop eating raw lard with his bare hands, this wouldn't happen nearly so often.
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